ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH – IF YOU CAN
One of my favorite and most overused sayings is “to thine own self be true.”
I despise outright lying. I once left a business because it was almost impossible to exist without lying.
At one time, I worked for one of the largest carpet manufacturers in the country as a salesman in the NY territory. It was early in my career, and I had minimal experience in the wholesale carpet end of the floor covering the business. One of the rights of passage with my employer was to visit the main offices and manufacturing facility in Dalton, Ga. They called it orientation. I called it indoctrination.
My visit included spending time with the personnel involved in the processes within the operation that had the most contact with clients within my territory. I spent time with the credit and claims department, the shipping department, and. I spent the most time with the people on the order desk.
I was taken through each department and given a thorough picture, step by step, of how their process worked. Most of it was general extensive company routine and how clever they were in their functions. They indeed seemed to have things down pat.
When I began working with the order processing department, I was given a brief overview of the routine. Then I was allowed to follow the ordering process from start to finish, including following the paper trail of an order. It was at this point when it became apparent to me that for all the visual professionalism, the whole process was based on lies. From beginning to end. One lie would beget another until a snowball effect was achieved.
The first clue was the actual order form. The form had all the usual spaces for customer and product information. The most unusual portion of the form was titled Promise Dates. There were six double lines for promise dates and explanations for each. I asked the supervisor what this meant.
She told me that when an order is placed the order clerk gives the customer an approximate delivery date based on information give by the other departments. My response was, if the timing is only approximate, why are you calling it a promise date? The answer was astonishing. “When the order is given we create the first promise date. Sometimes it works out but most times not. When the customer calls looking for the order, then we give a second promise date and explanation and so on. Normally before it gets up to six the goods are shipped”. The promise date should be called the lie date. At the time most mills handled the process in the same fashion. What was even more interesting were some of the explanations used for poor service. Some of the most creative writing I have ever seen. Talk about being clever.
There are so many lies people tell that it is impossible for me to write about them all. They range from telling people you love them to negotiating prices, to telling people your age, to height and weight and the list goes on and on. Also, anyone who tells you they don’t lie is a liar.
Now, a lie is a lie; however, there are different degrees of lying. Some are mere exaggerations or embellishments, and sometimes harmless, while some are purely sinister in nature. The lies people tell themselves self is of particular interest to me.
Sometimes people believe their lies when they tell them enough. This is particularly true of stolen valor issues such as recollections of war stories or athletic events. I have witnessed politicians lie about battle and military prowess while I have witnessed guys claim they were football stars when all they ever did was ride the bench. This category of lying is usually harmless to everyone except for the real war heroes and guys who laid it on the line playing sports.
There are also lies told because of public expectations. I’m a big guy and most people assume I was a great football player. Well I played the best I could and there were times I had my moments but I was far from great. My brother used to tell lies about me as a way of his self promotion. At one time he told a bunch of guys in a bar the I played linebacker for the university of Texas. When I found out I immediately told the truth and confronted my brother. His explanation made me sick.
Suffice to say there are so many types of lies and levels of degree that it is impossible to o into each. When my stepson Michael worked for me he kept a log of lies our installers and employees would tell regarding attendance and poor performance. Most excuses were humerous or even unimaginable but all were possible even though some were so far fetched. Some gave the words childish and stupid new meaning.
Now I am entering a level of lying I know something about even though I do my best not to succumb to it’s trappings. I often say “the older you get the better you were.”
In her later years, my Mother would introduce me to here friends in Florida as her son the doctor. She would tell her friends that my brother Stu was a lawyer. Even though she knew better I am positive at times she really believed her lie. So as not to embarrass her I would play along. I’m sure Mom would have liked it if I were a doctor but I guess I disappointed her. Sorry Mom, I did the best I could.
One of my buddies Mother told several people at a dinner party that her lawyer son was an All State Footbal Player in his presence. I found he told the same story to several people. I couldn’t believe my ears because all he did was ride the bench most of the time. Funny though he is a lawyer and lawyers are known for lying. In his mind he probably believes it.
Hillary Clinton remembers vividly that she escaped from a helicopter under enemy fire. She may have believed her own story. When she was found out her comment was she had misspoken.
Lots of politicians lie about the personal self-promoting experience and when caught merely state they misspoke. I think until they get caught they really believe their own bullshit.
I have listened to old war stories. Stories about serious operations. Big business deals. Personal wealth. Success or failure stories regarding offsprings. Romance stories. Sexual prowess stories including size, quantity and who. It is never ending.
Even though I am definitely against stretching the truth I cut plenty of slack to old people who are offenders of mistruths that only effect themselves and are harmless to others. It seems they believe their own tales. As I mentioned earlier, the older we get the better we were.
As a fledgling writer, there is one form of lying I am very familiar. As much as I try. I, like many, never let the truth interfere with a good story.
